Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Rewrite Academic Essay

Intellectual intelligence (IQ) is defined as “the ability of a person to use his/her intellect to study, reflect on or ask and answer questions with regard to a variety of different ideas”. In contrast, the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ), developed by Daniel Goleman, means the self-awareness that enables a person to recognize feelings and helps him/her manage his/her emotions (Goleman, as cited in BBCnews.com, 2004). Taking an undergraduate as an example, if IQ defines how smart an undergraduate is, EQ determines how he/she uses that blessing. An undergraduate is born with IQ and cultivated with EQ as he/she grows up. IQ and EQ actually contribute to an undergraduate through different ways.

Firstly, IQ helps an undergraduate to think and solve the academic problems. For example, as an undergraduate, the usual student needs to be independent in learning since the university is a place that requires a lot of self-study. In this case, he/she needs to study and solve the challenging academic problems with his/her IQ rather than easily getting solutions from professors. A high IQ provides an undergraduate the means to study wisely and effectively and hence achieve flying marks in his/her exams. However, having a good problem solving abilities or excellent academic results does not mean an undergraduate is competent in dealing with emotions or motivating him/herself.

EQ provides the undergraduate with an appropriate emotional stability to deal with the academic problems. In order to deal with the daily stress which most undergraduates have to face, it is important for them to have a high EQ to keep calm and alert. Undergraduates with high EQ are able to handle stress “constructively”, and find “emotional connections” easy to maintain (Zins, 2004). Developing one’s EQ can help the undergraduate access his/her innate intelligence and strengthen his/her empathy, which can also lead to academic advancement (DaikyOM, 2005). On the other hand, if an undergraduate is incapable of control his/her emotion, he/she may sabotage him/herself.

Secondly, IQ enriches an undergraduate’s life. It is undeniable that one of the best ways to enrich an undergraduate is through reading. While reading, he/she may ask and answer questions with regard to a variety of different ideas. IQ ensures the ability for an undergraduate to reflect on and understand the ideas of an author and makes good use of them. By this way, His/her life is enriched and his/her knowledge is widened through the reading and learning process.

However, there is a lot of knowledge to be learnt and experienced by an undergraduate, which he/she cannot find inside the books.

Therefore, it is very helpful for him/her to have a high EQ when communicating with others. EQ makes him/her more sociable. In fact, people are willing to befriend someone who can control his/her emotions well, as he/she has an easy-going personality that makes everyone feel at ease around him/her. With a high emotional intelligence, an undergraduate is capable of understanding the feelings of others. This capability hence makes an undergraduate easy to handle relationship well with others. Ethnically, an undergraduate with higher EQ is better at handling relationships of every kind comparing with those with lower EQ (Joseph, 2006). Hence, an Undergraduate with higher EQ tends to has higher quality friendships which make him/her more sociable.

In summary, IQ and EQ contribute to an undergraduate through different ways. IQ helps an undergraduate to think and solve the academic problems and enrich his/her life. In contrast, EQ provides the undergraduate with an appropriate emotional stability to deal with the academic problems and makes him/her more sociable. All things considered, I conclude that making good use of both IQ and EQ will contribute to the development of an undergraduate significantly throughout the years.

PS: I have developed my conclusion and also made some changes for structures as well as corrected some grammar mistakes.

4 comments:

NANG said...

Hi Ming,

Your writing skills is improved. And your essays writing is clearer compared to your previous draft (we read through it and gave some comments) . I like the way you explained the meaning of EQ and IQ in different paragraph.

ching said...

Good use of the transitions in your essay which makes your ideas flow well, besides the points are clear and precise. In short, a good piece of work ! :)
Keep it up! Ming!

Brad Blackstone said...

Nang wrote that "Your writing skills is improved." I hope she meant ARE IMPROVED!

This is a much better effort, Ming, but why not include the references as well?

NANG said...

Yes , I meant "ARE IMPROVED" .